Helpful knowledge

Ok so this is still about choice but it is also about offering some help.

First I have to say, I AM NOT AN ATTORNEY and THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVISE
That said though there are some things that you can do to help yourself if you find yourself in a situation.
First and foremost know that, just because you feel its right or wrong does not make it the law. That is a valuable lesson to learn from the beginning. Any attorney or judge that you might have to deal with for one reason or another are confined to the parameters of the law. Moral and ethical are not the law either. Also everyone will always feel like they are right or have been wronged however they will not always win.

If you find yourself in a custody situation there are a few things that you can do to help yourself:
1. Try and work with the other parent, remember it took both of you to create your child or children and they will be much better off it their mom and dad can get along so put aside your hurt and anger and put them first.
2. I know it is not always possible to work with the other parent whether it be criminal issues, domestic issues, ect., do the best you can. Do not bad mouth the other parent, you would be hurt and upset if you found out they were bad mouthing you in front of the child(ren).
3. Keep a journal, write down if a visit happened, did not happen, why it did not happen, they were late or early, if they dropped off to you early. Be proactive and take the few minutes to write it down with the date and a time.
4. Do not be petty, they are not going to be perfect and neither are you so don't forget that.
5. If you truly believe there is danger than stand up and say something be proactive, however you do not want to cry wolf all the time.
6. If you do believe there is danger for your child, get proof. The "well so and so said they saw him/her here, or I have heard they are using or are in trouble with the law. You will need proof. You can go to most court houses and in the clerk's office or a viewing room look up the person's name and see if there is anything there. If there is write the file number down, ask to view the file or pay to have a copy of the file. Most records are public. If someone told you information are they willing to testify in court, if they aren't then it is just heresay.
7. DO NOT talk to the child(ren) about the adult issues. They already know there is a problem they don't need to hear you and they do not need that much information. They also do not need to feel as if they need to make a choice.
8. Sometimes you need to just agree to disagree.
9. You can not withhold visitation if the other parent is in arrears for child support. If you withhold the visits for that reason alone and the other parent has had enough they can file a show cause motion and you could find yourself being the one in trouble.
  10. Never use the child(ren) as a pawn or a means of control. So things did not work out that is not your child(ren)(s) fault so do not make it their issue.
11. There is "Best Interest of the Children" which in most states is 13 factors although a few other states have 14 that are looked at by the Friend of the Court and the Court when deciding custody. You of course can google Best Interest Factors for child custody and you can even put in your state.
12. Always read what you are signing and make sure you completely understand what you are agreeing to.

Again, I AM NOT AN ATTORNEY, THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE. This is just some helpful information. Remember knowledge is power and your child(ren) should come first.

Change

I started this blog to remind myself and anyone else out in the vast world wide web and even the world that we have choice. I have a choice, you have a choice and together some of our choices bring change. I will not say that every change is for the better, however it reinforces the lesson that choice can bring change.

For instance, I believe in things you can not see, heaven, God, love, astrology, psychics, and that there is still really great people in this world. I believe not all struggle is to punish something we have done. I believe the struggle is an opportunity for growth and change. You made a choice or several to bring you to the point of struggle. You make the choice on how long it will take you to learn the lesson and to no longer struggle. Anyway there is an astrologer/psychic named Maria Shaw-Lawson and she was telling people on her facebook page that today you should manifest, set your intentions not just for thirty (30) days but for the year. So I thought, it won't hurt and I wrote my wishes, set my beliefs and made a game plan. I have been feeling lost, unsure what I was doing and by me making the choice to simply make a wish and write it all down some how changed my outlook.
I know not everyone has the same beliefs and I love that. I love that those choices can bring on thousands of conversations. That each conversation can open to a new conversation, new view, a new alliance. The power of conversation is undeniable.

Its not to late so I will add one more wish to my list. I wish to one day meet Ellen DeGeneres and tell her Thank you. I would thank her for being who she is, for the choices she has made, the struggles that she has endured and still remained from what is shown to the world a compassionate, smart, hilarious human being.

I am grateful everyday for remembering that I have choice. So the next time you are down, sad, frustrated, happy, joyful, appreciative, remember all of it came because of choice.

Remember you can change the world, one choice at a time.

Special Gift

Everyone is different, everyone is unique but not everyone is a leader, nor is everyone a follower.

I often wonder why so many people try and hide who they are not just from the world but from themselves.

Each one of us has something special to offer the world and I wonder why each one of us doesn't. Are we worried that no one else will think it is special enough? Are we just to selfish, or that self involved or dependent on to many others to know what our special gift is?

Your gift does not have to overwhelm the people around you or the world in which we live to be important. Your gift could be having a kind face, a smile, a great ear for listening or arms for hugging. Your gift could be the intelligence to solve major problems or be a great team player. Your gift could be witty conversation or a sense of humor that is infectious. Your gift could be your work, your home or your family. Your gift could be complaining or assertiveness and yes those are gifts.

My point to all of this, you have a gift to share with this world and no it may never be on a global scale, however there are people in this world that would be grateful for your gift so share it. Don't be afraid of who you are, where you are at in your life or the pressure of the people around you. Be you and be happy that you are well you.

Let your light shine because sometimes its the only way to help not only yourself but the people around you find their way.