Bad Parent?????

Thank god I never received the memo that telling your child not to do drugs is being a bad parent. Also if your child is using since when is it hindering their growth to say if you choose to do drugs you can't be around? Last I knew that was tough love.

I am all for allowing your child to make their own decisions good or bad, however as a parent how can you in good conscious think that allowing your child to use and not say anything can be taken as not allowing them to grow as a person and one day wake up and say well that was a stupid choice.

There is a difference between making wrong choices that will one day be recognized by them as stupid and choices that can lead to other things that they might not wake up from or be completely trapped by.

If you judge me for that and that makes me a bad parent then I will gladly take being a bad parent. I will be a bad parent for wanting something better for my children. I will be a bad parent for telling them that using is not acceptable. I will be a bad parent for loving my child so much that I will speak up.

You want to call people bad parents and say they are hindering their children's growth as an adult because they wont accept using or are unwilling to accept bad people in their lives. That those "bad parents" should take a step back and let their children make their choices good and bad. That is a wonderful piece of advice, however if you are someone who will only offer your child help that is conditional of them doing what you wish such as coming back home, or the promise to come back home then aren't YOU really the one that is not willing to step back and let your child make their own choices good or bad, smart or stupid. Love is not conditional. Help for your child should not be conditional. No matter what my children's choices are, my love for them is unconditional. There is a difference. If you know your child is already in a bad way from the choices that you have stood by and allowed them to make already, do you really think your added pressure to conform to what you want them to do to get your help is beneficial for them? They are already suffering, they are already feeling the pressure, feeling trapped and you think nothing of adding more because that is what you want, not what they want or the choice they make. You are forcing them to choose what you want. Lastly, you are willing to put all this pressure and conditions on them but you won't say anything about them using and look at it a growing experience that should just be allowed, really?

So, if loving my child unconditionally, being there for them always, good and bad decisions, helping when I can, speaking up on the matter of drugs, speaking up on the choices they are making (but still allowing them to make), listening to them and recognizing they are an adult, wanting the best for them then I will gladly bear the title as Bad Parent.